Me, myself and beloved Mum

18 April 2008
I am leaving Malaysia today for good, today. Previous few trip is just for short period of time. I have been sending people off aboard for so many time. This round is my turn, leaving malaysia for few years.

Now only i can really feel the mood and the emotion....... i really worry about my beloved mum.... worry that she is will be alone at home...... and she only manage to see her son next year 21 Jan 2008 when I am back to Malaysia.

again, is this a good decision? or a very selfish decision, I have left behind my beloved mum feeling for not able to see her son everyday. Mum is already 54 year old, now I only leave her alone (with her Husband and her eldest son).... how would her feel?

I am sorry mum if I have make you worry about me, I am sorry mum if I have offended you, I am sorry mum if I have done anything wrong in the past. I am sorry...................................

Mum, Can you please promise me to take care of yourself? Please do not worry about the money, What I want is not money but is your health....... I will get marry as soon as possible as I know you wanted to enjoy fun with your grand children, I foresee that you will pampered your children.........

Mum, I LOVE YOU............. Please take care.........................

Your Son
KC

Love.......

06 April 2008 Sunday
Sunday. Just another two weeks before my departure to Beijing, or it should be 12 days. Today, Parents and me were haing dinner at KLCC california Pizza, it cost about RM 138. But i wonder do they really enjoy the dinner?

How come I neve thought of having dinner with them every Sunday? I only starting to do that wheni decide to work in Beijing? Am i doing that too late? I do not know.........

Am I a good Son? I do not think so......... why? It really could not be explained.

Mum Vs Beijing

All the while, I been thinking that mother is ok for me to go beijing........

today, finally she voices out her concern....... she implies me to stay....... as I have a very secured job in Malaysia and my living is above average as compared to others.

she claimed why i wanted to go beijing just for more money? I can fully understand her concern.... and mum is the person that I worried most....

Am I too selfish? by leaving her around in Malaysia at the age of 54 and my brothers have just passed away not long ago.... yet my eldest brothers can not careless about my mum.....

What will happen if i stay in my current employer? Chua is leaving CRS and moving to shanghai too. With Mr Choo as head of Risk, with present of Nandha, I do not really see much prospect in CRS....all the covered by Nandha........ he will be the shinning star in front of Mr Choo

I really wanted to give her a hug and tell her "Mum, I Love you". I wanted she to be more mum too in next life, next few life, and forever.....

I will do my best in Tao to ensure her will not suffer anymore in her life and enjoy in heaven.

again, mum I Love U